Describing My Personal Salvation Experience Without Using "Christian-ese"

So here is the project. Describe your conversion experience in 250 words or less without using Biblical terms, church terms, or "Christian-ese". In essence, tell a Non-Christian how you were "saved" in terms they can understand. This is my theology project for this week. Easy enough, right? Wrong. What does salvation, regeneration, being "born again", even sin, and other terms mean to someone who isn't a Christian or hasn't grown up in the church their whole life? Ultimately nothing or these terms are vague and diluted at best. Here is my attempt to do just that, describe how God saved me without using any of these terms or at the very least I will try to define them in very short definitions.

Salvation is this: A person must recognize that there is a God, and that He is three parts (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). They must recognize that they are born a sinner (separated from God). That without Him their life is empty and meaningless (dead). Jesus (The Son) is the answer: He was sent by God (The Father) to be a bridge, to take the sin of all man-kind onto Himself. The only way he could do this was live a perfect human life and to die. At His death Jesus took on the sin of the world (past, present and future). Because Jesus is God, He didn't stay dead, but after three days He rose again to life.  This is why Jesus is called life and the light of the world, because He saves us, (salvation). This is important to salvation. A person must feel a deep urge and wanting to believe and follow God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). They must turn from this life of sin (death), toward God and believe in Him (life). So two things happen in Salvation: God calls a person to believe in Him when they hear this message. How? A deep desire to learn more about Him or a deep desire to follow Him. The second thing that must happen in Salvation: a person must respond to God's call, (believe, turn from sin, and follow Him). This experience of Salvation happened to me when I was eight years old. (246 words)

- Jared Kaijala